Friday, November 03, 2006

Kerry Aides Hide Comedy Club Flyers

Two of Senator John Kerry’s senior staffers, Kara Plummer and Jake Dennis, spent much of Friday in a shredding session, destroying flyers received from comedy clubs around the country.

Kerry’s botched joke from earlier in the week drew attacks from the Bush administration, and last minute cancellations of Kerry’s appearances with Democratic candidates nationwide.

According to staffers for other Democratic legislators, the Senator Kerry (D-MA) has begun referring to himself as “Punchline” Kerry. The aides didn't want the senator to see the flyers for open mike nights just yet, though he has been trying out new material in front of staffers:

Kerry: Stop me if you’ve heard this one. It seems these two traveling salesman were discussing supply side economics with a Keynesian farmer's daughter.

Staffer: Ha ha. That’s terrific sir. Very funny. Very topical.

Kerry: Here’s a wordplay on the joke I messed up—“you’d better agree with this administration’s policies, or you end up on the rack.” Y’get it?

Staffer: “On the rack,” instead of “in Iraq.”

Kerry: No, the whole point is…well, yes, that’s exactly right.

Staffer: You’re a funny funny man, sir.

Kerry: Thanks. Hi, I just got into town after meeting with top senate Democrats about ways to help the terrorists and raise your taxes.

Staffer: Oh, stop, you’re killing me, Senator.

Kerry: Well, let’s see what’s new in Baghdad, or, as I like to call it, “Georgetown.”

Staffer: No, really. Stop.

Kerry: Gee, when can I use all this killer material?

Staffer: How about that civil rights dinner you’re doing with McCaskill, and Schumer and Obama?

Kerry: Well…but that’s in January!

Staffer: Yes it is, sir. Yes it is.


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