TV's All New For Fall!

Hi from Hollywood, where you drive your hybrid in the daytime to the tart frozen yogurt shop (Pinkberry), then get picked up at night in a Hummer limo. Then, it’s out onto the freeways to play Glamourland’s favorite slalom competition, “Dodge the Starlet!”

The networks are letting us all get a sneak peak at their exciting new lineups, all hoping to improve their “metrics,” an exciting new way of saying “numbers.”

ABC, already ruling the nighttime soap ratings with “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives,” rolls out a new one, “Correct Change”-- Passions and power-grabs jeopardize the careers of Newport Beach, California’s young, hot professional highway toll collectors.

CBS has yet another heartwarming comedy, this one called “Fresh Start”—When an industrial spill at a hand sanitizer plant destroys all life forms within a 20-mile radius, ex-con Max Cantwell, and his long suffering wife Peg, are the first couple to move into the rebuilt neighborhood, vowing to give their marriage one more try. Inspector Taylor: Jeff Foxworthy.

FOX, whose best shows are two-dimensional has a 9:30 Sunday show to follow “American Dad.” The new series, “Unprecedented,” is all about the lives of twin teenage girls, one conservative, one reactionary, who join the Supreme Court. The first rate cast includes Glenn Close, Ron Silver, John Goodman and introducing Kikki and Sasha Velasco as Justices Harmony and Julia Crystal.

FOX is revamping its reality lineup as well. Wednesday nights, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” will have two powerful new lead-ins. Steve Harvey hosts “Million Dollar Hopscotch,” at 8, 7 central, then Denise Richards pilots the all new “Celebrity So You Think You Can Pull My Finger!”

NBC’s Law & Order franchise is the gift that keeps on giving. This fall, a new reality show: “The Next Law & Order Star.” Twenty contestants compete for one slot on the spring replacement series, “Law & Order: Logan’s Run.”
Episode 1: The ten men and ten women show their creativity with this line—
“Can you think of any reason why anyone would want to do this to your husband/ wife/ cousin/ ficus plant?”

The Peacock network also hopes to strengthen its Sunday night lineup with “Tim Russert Theater”—The “Meet the Press” host and Washington Bureau chief presents weekly hourlong dramas which begin by raising controversial topics and end by reminding us that nothing will ever change, which is all for the best.

The Sundance Channel, delighted with the results of its vodka-powered “Iconoclasts” series, has a spin-off from that show, called “Clash,” where legendary talents rumored to be at odds with each other are brought together for an exchange of views. Episode 1: Max Baer, Jr. beats the living hell out of “Cinderella Man” director Ron Howard.


Animal Planet has something out of the ordinary planned: “International Crim-animals,” a new series based on real life crimes perpetrated, sadly, with the help of the suspects’ animal friends. In Episode 1, “When the pet Persian of a suspected terrorist coughs up a furless furball, Pokriefke and Harvey drop their plans for a romantic getaway, and pull out their tweezers.”

Disney Channel’s “Happy Hillside Lane” features Mike and Jenny Kramer and their five kids, living on the same street as his parents, and around the corner from hers! In the premiere, Mike’s carry permit passes the background check.

Other cinches to be fan favorites include MSNBC’s “That’s Sooo Stone Phillips”; VH1’s “The Stuff,” a show that lists some stuff; FX’s “The Fling,” where each week, a catapult hurls contestants at an historic American brick wall; Survivors win big cash prizes and a staff job at FoxNews. Episode 1: Independence Hall, Philadelphia; and E!’s Celebrity Scavenger Hunt which kicks off with a five hour premiere episode: “Paris Hilton needs to find a stapler.”
Whether you watch on your iPhone, online, in HD, or just on a plain old television, there’s plenty of excitement coming your way this fall from Hollywood! Enjoy!