Uhhp With People: A Love Story


“Uhhhp….Uuhhp! See, what did I tell you? The minute they found out that Cheney had a hunting accident, what did I say?”

“You said that—“

“I said the liberal media would have a field day. They would make it all about Cheney’s a bad guy. See? See? Here they go. Was I right?”

“I remember you said—“

“They don’t even understand about guns and sportsmanship. Fer crissakes, it wasn’t even a bad injury. He’s fine. Just got a little buckshot, that’s all. They probably don’t even realize that. Make a big deal, ‘He got shot in the face.”

“No, when you’re right, you’re right honey. You called it.”

“Uuhhp…Uuhhp! Now they’re saying the guy who got shot had a minor heart attack. The guy’s 78! A lot of people have heart attacks anyway, but just you watch! Now they’ll make a big issue about it; the liberals will be talking about Cheney’s heart, and before you know it, they’ll be yammering about gun control again.”

“I don’t understand why they have to be such troublemakers.”

“Remember Abu Graib? What did I tell you—?”

“You said the liberals would go to town, and attack America.”

“And what happened?”

“You have a real insight about these things.”

“And when Bush said that thing about Saddam Hussein was not involved in 9/11, I said the Democrats would be whining about it all over the t.v., and the next day, boom!—there it was.”

“You’ve been right on the money. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Well, I pay attention to things. These Liberal Democrats play politics about everything. Remember the disaster?”

“The tsunami?”

“No, no, no”

“The medicare thing?”

“The Iraq?”

“No no no. What are you talking about? Iraq? Medicare? Now you’re starting to start like them!”

“It’s just—I can’t read your mind. If you want to talk about something, just say what it is!.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was talking about Katrina.”

“The disaster.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

“Okay, right away, the liberals blamed it all on Bush. All Bush’s fault. Like the president made the levies break. Like the president flooded everyone’s houses.”

“They should just report the facts, and leave the president alone.”

“That’s what I’m saying. Leave the man alone and let him do his job.”

“Uuhhp…Uuhhp…”

“What?”

“I don’t even know yet, but I can feel them about to attack him again.”

“You’re amazing.”

“Oh, you’re amazing… Is there any pie left?”