NFL to Restrict Key Playoff Game

(New York)-- NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that this January’s NFC Championship game will only be available to residents of Saribo Creek, Montana.

The league has had tremendous success in paring back audience numbers for games between the Colts and the Falcons on Thanksgiving, and the Cowboys and the Packers on November 29th, by limiting coverage to the NFL Network, unavailable to many viewers, and sold at a premium to others.

League spokesman Harris Mackey told reporters, “Until this season, you can’t imagine the riffraff who’d sit and watch our games, many of them wearing distressingly casual clothing and drinking discount beer. By controlling access to our games, we’re increasing the allure of the brand.”
Mackey then abruptly ended the conference, hurrying out to spend the weekend as a guest of the Goodell family, at their luxury compound in Saribo Creek, Montana.