Olbermann Okays Democratic Ticket

MSNBC Anchor, Host, and Special Commenter Keith Olbermann today affixed his signature and his golden wax seal to the official documents certifying Senators Barack Obama and Joe Biden as the Presidential and Vice Presidential nominees of the Democratic Party.

“People are going to make more out of this than it really is,” Olbermann told The New York Times, “Especially that &#%*}$-er (FoxNews host) Bill O’Reilly.”

The Times says Democratic leaders met with Olbermann in his palatial working space at MSNBC headquarters. “The Obama, the Biden, the Dean, and their minions entered the sanctum, and all I really did was, I spake unto them saying, ‘Yes, it is seemly that the Obama and the Biden go forth and make change across America. Be not like Al Smith, whose life story I know in detail, but like Franklin Roosevelt, whose life story I also know, in even greater detail.’ Yes, they backed out of the room always facing me, but no, their lips didn’t touch me or the floor or anything worth noting.”

In Mr. Olbermann’s defense, scientific double-blind studies confirm that Bill O’Reilly actually is a &#%*}$-er.