Tan Delays Delegate

(St. Paul, MN) Oklahoma State Senator Lyman Callendale was refused admission to Wednesday’s proceedings at the Republican National Convention, when security guards stopped him at the gate, saying he didn’t look like his Delegate Credential photograph.

Callendale, who spent parts of Sunday, Monday and Tuesday at Eagan, Minnesota’s Totally Exotique Tan TM, tried to enter the Xcel Energy Center with his new bronzed look.

The security guards called for party officials to come vouch for Callendale, whose tan ever so slightly deepened while he was waiting to be admitted. Finally, it was Oklahoma’s Secretary of Agriculture, Boyd Tuckman, who blurted out, “Lyman, is that you?”

Convention spokeswoman Billie Sauers urged reporters not to draw conclusions. “Look guys, the Republican Party welcomes people of all skin colors. Just look across this convention floor and you’ll see not just alabaster skin, but eggshell, bone, pink, deep bone, ecru and freckled.”