Shaking Stops in Poughkeepsie

(Poughkeepsie, NY) – The constant rumbling and shaking in this community on the banks of the Hudson River, have finally come to an end.

Mayor John Kimbrough says, the city can be proud of its steadfastness.

“For almost a decade now, we’ve tended to our mending. We survived without a scratch, business as usual. The folks who go to work at IBM, the workforce, professors and students at Vassar, have continued to function, and all-in-all, we haven’t wasted our time worrying about these slight tremors, because we wouldn’t let a little jiggling prevent a Fourth of July Celebration, our Hudson River Candlefest, or any other of our traditions.

“And next year, we celebrate Poughkeepsie’s 350th birthday. If this quiet continues, it will be safe to light that birthday cake!

Seismologists say the epicenter of the continuous low-intensity rumble has come from slightly north of the city, in the town of Hyde Park, NY, but they’ve been at a loss to determine the cause.

The only explanation we were able to track down came from lifelong resident and local character Arnie Parsaghian, who mentioned that President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was buried in Hyde Park, and since November 4th, he’d stopped spinning in his grave.